Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man
- Mark Twain

Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
- Anne Tyler

Hi, my name is Maddie. I am an American Bulldog. I am currently four months old. I love to terrorize my owners, I can easily get away with it. All I have to do is give a cute little pout and they are done for. I love to dig holes in my yard. I have started a wonderful rock collection which is scattered throughout my house.

A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
- Linda Ellerbee