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8/31/2011 - Bachelor Parties: 10 Cheap Ideas

So your groomsmen aren't rolling in money -- so what? You can still throw a killer bachelor party. All you really need is a group of guys and a good, cheap game plan. Read on for 10 bachelor party ideas that won¡¯t require you to max out your affordable wedding dresses gold card.

Pizza and Beer

What could be more manly than guzzling brews and scarfing down pizzas? And what could be cheaper than having the best man host the party at his pad? All you need is a trip to the supermarket and your telephone-dialing digits. Order that pizza, rent some videos or turn on the game, and create your own bachelor-style shindig.

Baseball Diamond

Looking for something virtually free to do in the great outdoors? Why not head to your local park for a ball game? Bring a cooler of beer and any gear you own. After you¡¯re finished playing, head to your local pub or back to the best man¡¯s pad to chew the fat and reminisce about old times.

Bowling for Bachelors

How about bowling? We're serious -- it's more fun than you remember. Up the stakes and divide the guys into two teams -- losers have to pay for the pitchers. For the perfect groom gift, order a bowling ball with his initials on it.

Poker Faces

Get out your $1.99 stogies and your Uncle Phil¡¯s poker chips: It¡¯s time for some stud action. Through the haze of smoke and the steam of take-out Chinese food, you¡¯ll discover who among you has what it takes to be the Poker King. Remember to pitch in for the groom¡¯s kitty.

Scavenger Hunt

Put together a list of ridiculous items to round up, divide yourselves into two teams, and agree to meet at a specific time. Then you¡¯re beautiful wedding dresses off and running. Some ideas: women¡¯s lingerie (must be given to you by the woman wearing it); street signs (you didn¡¯t hear it from us); the name of someone who died before 1900, rubbed off a tombstone; a wig or toupee; and a specified number of phone numbers from hot girls (ask each team to bring a digital camera for evidentiary purposes). Designate a driver and you can even stop by the local watering holes.

Sports Night



This one's devilishly simple, but can't miss. Arrange to have the bachelor party on the night of a big game: basketball, baseball, hockey, or whatever's on. Take over a corner of your local sports bar and settle back to enjoy the game, ordering libations and spicy chicken wings by the dozen.

Video Arcade

When's the last time you set foot in an arcade? Things have changed since Space Invaders -- trust us. Depending on how good a player you are (as in, how long your games last), you¡¯ll need either loads of quarters or practically none. Foosball, pinball, video games, you guys¡¯ll have it all! Just be gentle whilst fending off the preteen crowd.

Roast Him

You¡¯ve heard of Friar¡¯s Club roasts -- events honoring one person during which various and sundry friends and colleagues rip and rib the hell out of him. Sound vaguely like the trash talk you guys give each other when you play ball? Round up the guys and build a ¡°throne¡± for the groom (imagination is a necessity here), then fill the room (whether at a restaurant, bar, or home) and launch into the guy. Remember to keep it light (do mention the time discount bridal shops you knocked the wind out of him playing football; don'tmention his dog dying when he was ten).

Karaoke

Nothing rivals the humiliation factor of a karaoke performance. Have a fiendishly fun time by getting the groom mildly smashed, then taking him out to a nearby karaoke night. Tell him he sounds great singing his own extended version of ¡°Hotel California.¡± For extra points, get the performance on video.

BBQ

Do you have a backyard? A barbeque grill? A passion for burgers and steaks? Looks like you might want to host a backyard bachelor BBQ. Gather the guys, pack the cooler, and let the sun set on a backyard full of men happily wolfing down meat products.


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8/31/2011 - Bachelor Parties: 10 Adventurous Ideas

What's the best way for you to bond with your buddies? Over sports, of course. From a day at the batting cages to a weekend hiking the Appalachian Trail, custom-make a bachelor party complete with your sport affordable wedding dresses of choice. Here are 10 great ideas.

Surf's Up

If you and your guys know how to surf and live near the ocean, just grab your wetsuits, take a road trip to a prime beach, and jump on in. If you're surf-impaired, why not arrange some group lessons to learn to ride the waves?

Hang Gliding

If hanging 10 isn't exciting enough for you guys, why not try hang gliding? There are plenty of schools around the country where you can learn the finer points of coasting through the sky.

Take the Plunge

Does hang gliding seem a little too leisurely? Try free falling toward the earth at over 100 mph. Convince the guys to step out of a perfectly good airplane and take the groom skydiving. Taking a literal plunge seems fitting before you take the figurative plunge into marriage.

White-Water Rafting

Push those images from Deliveranceout of your head -- white-water rafting is the perfect macho bachelor party activity. Plan a weekend of navigating the rapids by day and camping under the stars at night.

Day of Thunder

Have a hankering for some serious speed? Treat the groom to a day at race-car driving school. He¡¯ll be able to let out a little nervous energy by tearing beautiful wedding dresses around the track, and you won¡¯t have to worry about pesky cops shooting radar. Check out RacingSchools.com for more info.

Caged Heat

Looking to give the big leaguers a run for their money? Head to the batting cages armed with a few rolls of quarters (buddies, make sure you bring some extras for the groom). And what to do after such hard work in the sun (or shade)? Mosey over to your local pub to drink a few brews and catch the game on TV.


Deep Sea Fishing

Can there be a better way to bond than fishing? Charter a deep-sea fishing boat and hope the groom gets to spend the better part of an afternoon wrestling with a marlin.

Go Scuba

You guys don't even need to be near the ocean to discount bridal shops learn to scuba dive. Any large body of water will do. If you'd rather dive in the ocean, why not swim with the sharks? Hornby Island in British Columbia might be your cup of Joe.

Do You Rock?

Is "Go climb a rock" the groom's mantra? Take him out to climb a doozy. Most cities have indoor climbing wall options, but if you can get to the big outdoors, go for it. If you're lacking experience, don't risk a difficult climb; go bouldering (scrambling over big rocks) instead.

Take a Hike

From a day hike to a weekend car-camping, beer-around-the-campfire extravaganza, just being in the great outdoors is a great bachelor party option -- and you don't even have to learn any new or dangerous sports.


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8/31/2011 - Worst Marriage Proposals of 2009 - Getting Engaged - Popping the Question

It Was a Gas

My fiance planned a trip to a ski resort in Pennsylvania, and had intended to ask me to marry him on a sleigh ride, but a heat wave had melted almost all the snow. He then decided he would just take me on a carriage ride, thinking it was going to be very romantic. NO! The horses started farting! And shedding! We had horsehair in our mouths affordable wedding dresses and could smell farts the whole time. We finished the ride, and Jimmy wanted me to follow him to the edge of the mountain, but because of the rain, everything was muddy, so I said, "No, thanks, I'll stay over here!" He was so frustrated, he finally just plopped down on his knee right there in the mud and asked me to marry him!

The Houdini of Engagement Rings

Jordan and his family took me out for my birthday dinner at a restaurant that has live music. At one point, the bandleader said, "I hear there's a birthday in the house tonight! Why don't you come on up here!" Jordan went with me. After they played "Happy Birthday," he pulled a tiny ring box out of his pocket, knelt down on one knee, opened it, and...the ring was missing! Jordan's mother realized she had given him the wrong ring box from her big, overstuffed purse. A few of my friends quickly dumped the contents of her purse onto the table searching for the correct box. Eventually it was found, delivered to Jordan, and he was able to "correctly" propose!

Receipt Fail

My fiance had stopped to pick up the ring on his way home from work. Earlier that day, I had given him the credit card to get gas for his car, and when beautiful wedding dresses he got home, I asked him for the receipt so I could put it in our budget. But instead of giving me the gas station receipt, he gave me the ring receipt! I looked at it and smiled, then asked him for the "real" receipt. He just looked at me and said, "No, I didn't!" and we both laughed. He wasn't planning on proposing to me for a couple more days because he had a big, romantic day planned, but I told him that it didn't matter how it happened as long as I got him for the rest of my life!

Thwarted by a Bike

For the first two mornings of our vacation, Nick asked me to get up and take a walk before 8 a.m. -- not a good idea in my mind. Finally, I agreed to a morning bike ride to the beach, but the chain kept popping off my bike. Twenty minutes later, we got the chain back on, but we were covered in grease and it was in the 90s, so we were super-hot. I wanted to go home and shower, but Nick insisted we could get the grease off with salt water. Once we got down to the beach, he got down on one knee and proposed. Now the whole thing finally made sense to me!

Just the 2 of Us...and a Bear



We went to hike in the Pocono Mountains for a weekend. Eric decided that the short trail up the mountain was "too short," so we took the longer one. Hours later, in 95-degree heat and 100-percent humidity, I wasn't so into this hike anymore. We finally reached the top of the mountain, and just when Eric thought it was a good time to pop the question, we heard people behind us yell, "Bear! Here he comes!" And everyone ran to get away from this huge black bear. After the bear finally went away, Eric decided to continue with his plan and proposed. After the shock wore off, I said yes!

Too Close for Comfort

Two-and-a-half years after we started dating, Justin took me on an amazingly scenic stroll. At one point, he got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. I said, "Of course! Yes!" And he took my hand and put on the ring. I leaned in to discount bridal shops cuddle with my new fiance, and at the same time, he leaned in to kiss my forehead -- this created a collision that ended with Justin getting a bloody nose. Fortunately, we got the bleeding under control long enough to tell everyone we knew we were engaged!

Lost and Found

I decided to take my bride-to-be back to the beach where we'd shared our first kiss and propose to her during sunset. I had the ring on my necklace because I thought it would be easier to take off, but I was a little nervous as I kneeled down, and when I tried to take it off, the necklace snapped. The next thing I remember: holding a broken necklace with no ring. We searched the sand inch by inch until nightfall, and then I decided we needed a metal detector. I quickly went out and bought one while my fiancee marked the spot, and it took us less than three minutes to locate the ring. Ticket to the pier: $2. Metal detector: $70. The feeling after we found the ring: Priceless.

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8/31/2011 - Marriage Proposals: 7 Signs He's About to Propose - Getting Engaged - Marriage Proposals

His apartment is clean, he's saving money, and Thursday night poker with the guys has turned into date night with you? Either your guy is coming down with something, or he's planning to pop the question. Read on for more affordable wedding dresses telltale signs that he's ready to say "I do."

He's Growing out of His Bachelor Ways

You can tell his bachelor days are behind him when his number-one priority is no longer himself. If he's constantly using terms like "we" and "our," and plans for a weekend with the guys in Vegas are suddenly on the back burner while weekend picnics beautiful wedding dresses with you are becoming more common, he's probably not just sick of his buddies. He might've realized that he prefers a more settled lifestyle, and this transition puts him squarely on the path to proposing.

A new couch may be just the start of major life changes.

He's Redecorating

You may also notice certain items have disappeared from his pad, like his college posters and Star Wars memorabilia. Did he ditch that ugly brown chair for a nice new couch? It could be the start of major changes -- your boyfriend is making room in his life for you, both physically and emotionally.

He's Curbing Big Purchases



Has your boyfriend gone from big spender to Scrooge? The plasma-screen TV he'd been planning to buy isn't hanging over his mantel, and instead of buying rounds of drinks at happy hour after work, he's home cooking dinner. No, he's not training for Top Chef; he's started to eliminate frivolous spending to brace for a large down payment (on your engagement ring). And it's not just the jewelry he's saving for -- he may be putting away money now so that the two of you will be comfortable well into the future.

He's Not Complaining About Weddings

While at a wedding together, it's more than just the usual eagerness for an open bar. He's not cracking jokes during the vow exchange -- he's commenting on the couple's first-dance song choice and the meal selection. Take it as a sign that he's paying attention to all things wedding-related because matrimony is on his mind.

He's Taken an Interest in Your Jewelry

Has he been complimenting your great ability to accessorize? Snooping around in your jewelry box? Holding your hand, constantly? All kidding aside, when your favorite ring goes missing, you'll know for sure that he's trying to find a covert way to figure out your size.

He Wants to Meet the Parents

Okay, so he's probably already met your parents. If he hasn't and has discount bridal shops become insistent on meeting them, it's probably for a good reason. But if he already knows them well and has become the first to RSVP for your nephew's birthday party, jumps at the chance for a weekend visit with your parents, or, even more telling, tries to plan outings for both your families to hang out together, he's ready for the next step.

He's Acting out of Character

You know his daily routine inside and out, and any variation is enough to give you pause. If he's super-insistent that you guys do something you never do (like take a walk through a park or drive to a place to watch the sunset), he may be setting you up to speak those four little words: "Will you marry me?" After all that hard work, be sure to make it easy on him and say yes!

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8/31/2011 - Marriage Proposals: 7 Reasons You're Ready to Propose - Getting Engaged - Marriage Proposals

Some men face the prospect of proposing with sheer terror, while others feel compelled to pop the question on the second date. Regardless of where your personality falls, here are seven ways to be sure you're ready for marriage.

You're Open About Your Finances

Make no mistake about it: Despite your undying  affordable wedding dresses love and devotion, money matters. Even if you and your girlfriend aren't swimming through pools of gold Scrooge McDuck-style, you should at least be familiar with your financial situations (and okay with the fact that your big splurges are video games and sneakers). If one or both of you are deeply in debt, money (or your lack thereof) could be an immediate source of conflict in your marriage. You don't need to know each other's salaries to the dime, but if you're open about your savings, you'll avoid any "You owe a bookie how much?" moments.

You Hit a Milestone

If you've just made a big professional advance (like a raise or a promotion), it may be the perfect time to take the next big step in your personal life too. "A lot of guys set goals for themselves," says Matt Bean, senior editor at Men's Health magazine, "and until they've reached a certain level in their careers or feel they've squirreled away enough money to support a family, they're just not in the mode of getting married." For Steve, 25, the time beautiful wedding dresses felt right when he became a homeowner. "I realized my house wouldn't be a home without her in it," he says. "I was just ready to move forward with my life." Your relationship is just like anything else you've worked hard toward, and the payoff is equally as rewarding.

You've Discussed Your Future



Have you talked about your plans for going on vacation together this summer, and your plans together 10 years from now? If you and your girlfriend speak naturally and sincerely about your future together (even if you're not sure where you'll be or what you'll be doing), that sort of confidence bodes well for your relationship. "We never spoke of marriage, but we did speak of later times in life," says Dave, 32, who surprised his girlfriend with a proposal in the Santa Monica Mountains. "She had no clue, and, when I asked, she had no doubt."

She's Aware of Your Ambitions

Everyone has ambitions (your goal to eat your weight in Buffalo wings? Sure, that counts too), but make sure your aspirations don't conflict with those of your girlfriend. If you plan to spend all your savings to start your own business in five years or, better yet, plan on spending a few months roaming with nomads in the Sahara, your girlfriend should know about that before you ask her to marry you.

Your Friends Are Fans

Chances are you've dated a woman or two who your friends didn't like much. Regardless of the root of their disdain, a relationship becomes tough when your friends don't want anything to do with your girlfriend. "A guy's friends are, in various ways, reflections of his own character," Bean says, so animosity between friends and girlfriend can be a definite red flag. If, on the other hand, your buddies have given her a resounding thumbs-up, you can rest easy knowing you won't have to spend your life choosing between her and them.

You Know She'll Say Yes...for the Right Reasons

This may seem obvious, but if you feel the chance of her accepting your proposal is iffy, it's probably not the right time to ask. If the ups and downs of your relationship have left you dizzy, don't try to steady the ship by asking her to marry you. If you propose just because you want a quick fix, she might turn you down or -- even worse -- she might be blinded by the moment and accept your proposal only to doubt her decision later on. Ask her to discount bridal shops marry you when you know you're both on the same page about spending your lives together, not when you're trying to salvage a relationship gone awry.

She's Dropping Hints...and That's Okay

Maybe she's mentioned how she's really into cushion-cut diamonds. Or that she'd love to honeymoon in Venice. Or perhaps her hints are a little less subtle (The Knot magazine mysteriously appears on your coffee table). Her mind is on marriage, and she's feeling out whether you're ready. If your instinct is to change the subject, cower in a corner, or shrug off the idea of an engagement entirely, you're likely not in a position to propose. But if the idea of marrying your girlfriend excites you, the only thing left is to buy a ring and start brainstorming ways to propose (start with this list of marriage proposal ideas).

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8/30/2011 - Shopping 101: Where to Shop

You've done your research online and browsed through a big stack of bridal magazines. Now it's time to get shopping. You have lots of affordable wedding dresses options from which to choose, depending on your budget constraints, time allotment, and the level of service that you require.


Independently Owned Full Service Bridal Shops

Typically these shops offer a full range of services for the bride and the wedding party at a wide range of prices. In addition, bridal shops will most likely have all the other accessories you'll need, like shoes, veils, undergarments, and even jewelry. While an off-the-rack purchase may be available, typically these stores special order gowns for brides beautiful wedding dresses and their attendants. There is usually an owner on the premises and also an in-store seamstress who will consult on custom alteration possibilities and concerns. Price ranges and designers vary from moderate to high end at independently owned bridal shops.

Couture Shops

A subsection of the above, couture shops are owner-operated, generally found in major cities, carry exclusive designer labels with controlled distribution at higher-end prices, and offer a full range of services. These specialty shops order new gowns cut specifically for a bride's particular measurements.

Department Stores

Many department stores (like Saks Fifth Avenue, Bergdorf Goodman, and JCPenney) offer bridal gowns, while others (such as Lord & Taylor and Hecht's) offer only bridesmaid dresses. If your size isn't in stock it may be transferred from another store or specially ordered, and alterations are usually available.

Discount Outlets

Outlet shops are self- or reduced-service, and they may or may not offer on-site alterations. Generally, brides who shop these stores should expect to buy off-the-rack and take the gown home when it is purchased. Styles may be a mix of discontinued national brands and privately labeled merchandise sold at reduced prices.

Nationwide Bridal Chains

These stores manufacture, import, and sell their own private label gowns, which means that the style selection can be more limited than in other types of stores. Prices will most likely be lower, but so will the quality of services for the bride: You will be buying off-the-rack without much, if any, sales assistance. A good option for girls with short discount bridal shops engagements -- but be sure to ask about the time required for alterations.

Custom Gown Designers

Custom gown designers can be found in most major cities and offer one-of-a-kind gowns, uniquely created for their customers, in all size ranges. You'll need to find a designer whose vision you appreciate and trust as it will be a collaborate effort. In the end, you'll have a gown like no one else.

Rentals



Some clothing-rental stores have wedding dresses in stock, and you might even find a store near you that rents wedding dresses. Some shops may be willing to order a brand-new version of one of the used ones in the store -- you'll still be renting it, but you'll be the first to wear it. On the downside, you probably won't find the selection you'd find at a bridal salon or even a warehouse or outlet. And you'll be able to choose among only the dresses that the rental shop has to offer, which may not be the latest styles.


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8/30/2011 - Shopping 101: Tackling Wedding Dress Trunk Shows

Attending a favorite designer's trunk show maximizes your chance of finding the dress of your dreams. Wondering how? We've got answers to all your questions.


What Is a Trunk Show?

It's a special event at which a wedding dress affordable wedding dresses designer (or representative from the company) visits a bridal boutique on a set day with his or her entire line of new dresses. Brides schedule appointments to try on the dresses and meet with the designer.

Why Have Trunk Shows?

Since most bridal salons often only carry a few dresses from a select group of designers, trunk shows allow customers the opportunity to see and try on dresses that they wouldn't ordinarily see at that store. If you find a dress you like during a designer trunk show, ask if the store carries it. If it doesn't, find out which stores do or get ready to buy!


Call bridal salons that carry designers you're interested in to see whether they have any trunk shows scheduled.

Who Benefits?

The bride benefits because she has the opportunity to talk to the actual designer, to discuss the gowns and any changes she may want to make to beautiful wedding dresses  the one she's considering for herself. Designers benefit because they get to watch brides try on their gowns and listen to their comments. It's a great opportunity for them to learn directly from the consumer what they're doing right -- and wrong! The bridal salon benefits because it gets to show -- and possibly sell -- dresses that aren't part of its regular stock.

When Are They Held?

Call local bridal boutiques and department store bridal salons to see when and if there are trunk shows scheduled, and with which designers. Trunk shows are planned well in advance, so stores should be able to give you a list of dates. The shows last from one to three days, and appointments book up quickly. Call early!


Anything Else I Should Know?

Understand that a trunk show is not technically a sale. The dresses are not marked as discounted. But, most trunk shows do offer a discount for discount bridal shops placing your order on the spot, sometimes up to 20%, so don't be shy about asking. Even if the salon doesn't offer a discount, the designer may throw in a few extras (buttons down the back, additional length on the sleeves or the train) without charging you more. This relatively small

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8/30/2011 - Shopping 101: Gown-Buying Checklist

You spent your lifetime dreaming about your wedding gown, so shopping for it is sure to be an exhilarating, exciting and yes, overwhelming experience. When should you start? Where should you go? What happens once you're there? Well, your affordable wedding dresses worrying is over. From ordering to altering, here's everything you need to know.

When to Begin

Two words: Shop early. Nine to twelve months before the wedding is ideal, since it's best to have about six months to spare for fittings. Why? Unless you buy a ready-to-wear gown or a sample, wedding gowns are custom-made (and any beading are likely hand-sewn). Then, once the gown arrives, it must be altered -- usually several times -- to fit you perfectly. That said, many companies can turn a gown around quickly. If you have less than six months, it's not impossible, just get started pronto. One tip: Go simple. As a rule, the less complicated the gown, the less time it takes to make and fit.

If you have lots of time, you can hit every salon, shop 'til you drop, and agonize over your gown decision. Most important, be decisive!

9 to 12 Months Before

[ ] Start envisioning yourself in your wedding gown. Think about your everyday style. Now write down six adjectives that best describe how you want to look and feel (summery, sweet, elegant, royal, sexy, sophisticated, demure, over-the-top, to name a few).

[ ] Choose the time of day and formality of your beautiful wedding dresses wedding before you set foot in a store.

[ ] Start learning the ins and outs of wedding gowns. Get the lingo down and determine which design elements will complement your body.

[ ] Hone in on a specific style. Browse through the thousands of options on The Knot Wedding Dress Search to find designers and styles you like. Save some of your favorites and print them out. Jot down a few names and gown elements that you find especially appealing.

[ ] Now get some paper and a pencil and put into words what you absolutely do not want in a gown (for example, short sleeves, a full skirt, or beading).

[ ] Determine your gown budget -- a good guideline is to spend 10% of your overall wedding budget.


8 Months Before

[ ] Find two or three salons that suit you. Ask recently married friends where they bought their gowns and whether they had a good experience. Check to see which salons carry the designers you like. Call and make appointments, allowing at least one hour at each salon. Use a notebook to keep track of the salons, addresses, dates, and times.

[ ] Decide who to bring and invite them along. Limit your entourage to no more than three oglers at once.

[ ] Get your gear ready. Many salons provide some of the essentials listed below, but they may not fit properly:

  • A strapless bra or bustier
  • Control-top panty hose (gowns go on more smoothly, especially the often-too-small sample sizes)
  • A slip if you plan to try on sheaths or slip dresses
  • Shoes with approximately the same heel height you plan to wear on your wedding day
  • Tissues for when your mom sees you in your first gown


[ ] As you shop take careful notes on the dresses and the designers you like and write down descriptions of the gowns with prices.

[ ] A few words on sizing: Wedding gowns can run small. The store will measure your bust, waist, and hips, consult the individual manufacturer's sizing chart, and order the size that matches your largest measurement (it's much easier and less expensive to take in a dress than to let it out).

7 Months Before

[ ] Narrow down your gown choices and go for a discount bridal shops second (or third or fourth!) salon visit. You can return as many times as you like. No matter how indecisive you think you are, you probably won't come close to being the most neurotic bride they've ever helped. Also, make at least one trip on your own (so you can ponder your options without others' opinions coloring your thoughts).

[ ] At the salon, ask if the gown has coordinating accessories (veil or shawl) and try them on, too. Don't feel pressured to order anything: You still have time to look elsewhere for accessories.

6 Months Before

[ ] Order your gown. Make sure the following contract points are in writing on your receipt:

  • designer name
  • style number or name
  • size or measurements the salon is sending to the manufacturer
  • approximate delivery date
  • how many fittings are included in the price (if any)
  • how much money you still owe for the gown
  • amount of your deposit and that it's marked paid


5 Months Before

[ ] Call the salon to confirm the delivery date.

[ ] Decide what accessories -- shoes, lingerie, jewelry, headwear, wrap, gloves, outerwear, and bag -- you need (or want!) and shop for them. For ideas, check out The Knot Accessory Search.

[ ] If you plan to lose weight before your wedding, do so before your fittings begin. Once fittings are underway, try to maintain your weight. (Better yet, forget about the diet -- obviously he thinks you look great just the way you are.)

6 Weeks Before (or once your gown has arrived)

[ ] Have your first fitting. Invite an honest, sharp-eyed friend or family member to come along. Bring your accessories, too, so you can see the whole look.

4 to 5 Weeks Before

[ ] Have your second fitting. Make sure that:

  • The hem of a full-length gown skims the tops of the toes of your shoes
  • You can move comfortably
  • The gown stays in place as you move
  • There is no obvious wrinkling, bunching, or pulling


[ ] Continue to schedule fittings until you are completely satisfied.

[ ] Bring your maid of honor to your final fitting to learn about the gown. Does it need bustling? Ask the salesperson to teach her how to do it. Does it have complicated straps or buttons? Make sure she knows how to work them. Also, find out how to banish last-minute wrinkles. Should you use an iron? On what setting? Is steaming a better option? And what if you spill something on the gown? Are there certain products you should or shouldn't use?

3 Weeks Before



[ ] Schedule a day and time to pick up your gown from the salon. We s***est you try it on one last time, no matter what the salon says, especially if it's been a while since your last fitting. We all know stress affects our appetites, and if you suddenly don't fit into your gown you need time to adjust it, or your diet.

[ ] Pick up your gown!

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8/30/2011 - Shopping 101: Getting Started

If you're like many brides, you've been envisioning what you'd wear to your wedding since before you bought your first bra. Then again, maybe you've never thought about it at all. Either way, a lot of pressure can accompany affordable wedding dresses dress shopping. After all, the gown you put on for your walk down the aisle will be the true centerpiece of the day. This one article of clothing is probably going to be the most expensive and talked about thing you'll ever wear.

To assist you on the quest for your dream dress, we've got answers to your most pressing questions. When should you start? Where should you go? And what can you expect once you get there? For the lowdown, read on!


When to Begin

Two words: shop early. Nine to 12 months before your wedding is ideal since you'll need about six months to spare for fittings. Why? Unless you buy a ready-to-wear dress or a sample gown, wedding dresses are custom-made. And once your beautiful wedding dresses dress arrives, it's going to have to be altered -- usually several times -- until it fits you perfectly. That said, many companies can turn a dress around more quickly if need be. But if you have less than six months, start shopping right away and try to be flexible about your dress choice. Here's a tip: Avoid weekends and evenings if you can swing it. Bridal salons get insanely busy -- especially if you're marrying in a popular wedding month. If you can take time off during the week to shop, you'll get more of the salesperson's time and attention.

knot note

Don't be shy when it come to asking questions. You're making an important investment. If you don't get the "right" answers (or don't feel comfortable for any other reason), you may want to take your business elsewhere.

Where to Go

The most popular place to shop is the bridal salon, known for its personal service, tranquil setting, and wide selection of gowns from a variety of designers. You'll find boutiquey salons in upscale urban shopping districts, suburban downtown areas, strip malls, full-scale malls, and even inside some of the larger department stores. Check online under "Bridal Shops" or "Wedding Services" to see what's available in your area. Word-of-mouth recommendations are also very helpful. Find out which shops have given excellent service to past brides you may know, then call to make appointments. Try to limit your shopping to three or four salons, and bring along a small notebook to jot down the details on the gowns you like.

Research which salons are most appropriate for your budget. While the average salon carries lines in the under-$1000 category, there are others in discount bridal shops which the dresses start at $3000. Save yourself -- and the salons -- time by asking before you make an appointment.

Besides the day-to-day business of selling dresses, salons also hold special wedding-related events like trunk shows and sample sales. At a trunk show, a specific designer (or representative of a bridal manufacturer) brings his or her latest dress line for brides-to-be to try on during a special in-store gathering. The advantage? You get to see every dress in the line, not just the styles selected by the store. And you may even get the small thrill of chatting with the designer in person -- or better yet, having he or she advise you on your look.

At a sample sale, the dresses used in the salon for brides to try on are put up for sale. Some stores have sample dresses in an array of sizes, though the typical sample sizes are 6, 8, and 10. Keep in mind that wedding dresses run small, samples are likely to fit you if your regular dress size is a 2, 4 or 6. The dresses may not be super clean, but since they're sharply discounted, you can put some of your savings toward the cleaning bill.


If you're on a strict budget and find that the gowns in a bridal salon are out of your league, you might want to try your luck at a bridal outlet. These outlets generally stock older designs from past seasons, or gowns designed by lesser-known companies whose names you may not recognize. Shopping here can save you money, but keep in mind you may have to sort through many dud dresses as part of the process. You might not find what you're looking for, and prices aren't always that low.

Another money-saving option is to rent a gown, especially if you're not too sentimental and the logic of buying something to wear for just one night is lost on you. Some clothing rental shops have wedding dresses in stock or you may be able to find a store near you that rents only wedding gowns (check online under "Clothing Rental"). On the downside, you won�t find the selection you'd find at a bridal salon. And the styles may not be the most up to date.

 


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8/30/2011 - Shopping 101: Finding "The One"

Whether you browse the boutiques or surf the web, getting your fairy-tale gown is a magical moment. Here are some stories (and great advice) from brides who've already found their perfect dress.

Tune In

"I started my gown search with my mom and my affordable wedding dresses maid of honor. I went into a few stores just wanting to get an idea of styles that would look good on me. I immediately fell in love with a simple strapless gown. As my maid of honor zipped up the back of the dress, the song my fianc¨¦ played as he proposed came on the radio at the store! I started tearing up and knew I had to buy that dress!"
-- Tamara, Franklin, MA*

For Rent

"I was hopelessly lost trying to find a dress in my budget so a coworker s***ested I rent a dress. I was skeptical at first, but after trying on about 30 gowns (all retailing originally between $3,000 and $5,000), we finally found a fabulous gown. It fit me perfectly and was much more dress than I could ever afford! And because I won't have to beautiful wedding dresses spend thousands (only hundreds), we're spending the extra money on an exotic honeymoon to Bora Bora."
-- Beth, San Diego, CA


In the Stars

"My best friend and maid of honor was about to move across country and I knew we wouldn't be able to shop for gowns together as I had been dreaming of doing. However, I knew my boyfriend would be proposing soon so I swore her to secrecy and headed off to the most expensive bridal salon in town to have the shopping experience we had dreamed of. The sales person handed me a gorgeous gown. When I put it on and she placed a veil on my head both my maid of honor and I started crying. I later found out that the day I was trying on the dress was the same day my fianc¨¦ was buying my engagement ring."
-- Lindsay, Westport, CT

One for the Money

"I ended up loving two dresses and going back and forth between the two for over an hour. When I asked if I could have something altered on the first dress, the bridal consultant asked me if I'd change anything about the other dress. I said, 'No, it's perfect the way it is.' And then I knew it was the one."
-- Brenna, Olympia, WA

Drive a Hard Bargain

"I was at an expensive boutique with a few friends when I fell in love with the most beautiful gown. It was perfect -- until I looked at the price tag. I knew that there had to be a way to find the dress for less. I checked the designer's website and found a store nearby and called to see if they carried this particular dress and to ask their price. To my sadness it was just as expensive, but they offered to give me 10% off to buy the sample. I said, 'Take off 25% and I will buy it right now.' I ended up getting my dream dress for $1,000 less than the ticket price!"
-- Alexandra, Houston, TX

Mother Knows Best

"I really wanted to wear the same veil my mom wore, so I was trying to match the dress to the veil. Backwards, I know! We went shopping and I tried on two dresses and I didn't like either one. I was very discouraged and didn't even want to try on the third. My mom insisted, saying that it was only one more. She helped me put it on and as soon as discount bridal shops I got a glimpse in the mirror, I burst into tears. That was it!
-- Laine, Albuquerque, NM


Shopping Tips

You can't go wrong with this great advice from brides for brides.

"Leave your expectations at the door and try on a variety of dresses, because advice on which dress is best for your body should be treated as a guideline and not a rule."
-- Kelly, Greensboro, NC

"Ask boutiques about upcoming sales, or when they usually discount their dresses to make room for new ones. You may get the dress you want at a much better price."
-- Nicole, Mesa, AZ

"Always call for an appointment so you get one-on-one attention."
-- Kate, Bothell, WA

"If you think you found the perfect dress, but wished it had more buttons, more satin, and so on, and the store tells you, 'we can make any changes you want,' it's not the perfect dress, keep looking! The perfect dress is what it is, the perfect dress."
-- Jessica, Springdale, AR

"Don't overwhelm yourself with too much in one day. You want dress shopping to be fun. Bring a bottle of water and a snack and don't bring too many people. Too many opinions create tension."
-- Anne, Irvine, CA

"The perfect dress is the one when you go home and it sticks out in your mind and you find yourself comparing all the others to it. Don't settle -- and enjoy every moment!"
-- Jackie, Fort Myers, FL

* Note: some names have been changed


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8/29/2011 - Bridal Lingerie Essentials

You've seen thousands of photos, tried on dozens of wedding dresses. But you may have missed some small items in your search for the perfect wedding-day look -- those essential unmentionables that go under the dress. Undergarments provide discount bridal shops the foundation necessary for your outerwear to look how it's supposed to. They can change the way your dress fits, so you'll need to purchase them before your first fitting. Read on for the lowdown on bridal lingerie.

Bra

The bra is the uberundergarment, that leading piece of bridal lingerie to which all others play supporting roles. You'll need a good, supportive bra to lift you up as you walk down the aisle and keep you comfortable for hours of dining, dancing, and posing with relatives. Many bridal boutiques offer decorative bras that are as creative -- and nearly as costly -- as the gown itself. While some of these elegant brassieres have unique proportions that can be quite useful with the right gown, make comfort your priority: You don't want insufficient support or annoying wires cutting into your sides on your wedding day. And remember, you can slip into provocative, flimsy lingerie when you take the gown off.

knot note

Make sure you take your bra, slimmer, stockings, and shoes to your fittings; a body-support garment will give a slightly different shape than just sucking in your gut, and changing your "support" down the road will affect the way your gown fits.

Before you buy, ask about the store return policy. You'll likely want to try on a few different bras with your gown, so make sure that as long as you leave the tags on, the garment is returnable for a full refund.

Regardless of which style you choose, try not to have unrealistic expectations for your bra -- or yourself -- on your wedding day. If it's too uncomfortable to wear for a five-hour stretch on a normal afternoon, why suffer?

Slimmers

While old-fashioned girdles have long been out of style, you might try one of the several contemporary slimming undergarments that use Lycra beautiful wedding dresses or Spandex rather than stiff stays or ancient whalebone.


Panties

As with the bra and slimmer, choose panties that offer comfort over sex appeal. (There's just no way to discreetly rearrange a pair of creeping panties through a wedding gown!) If your gown has an unusually slinky cut or is made of very thin material, you may want to use pantyhose with built-in underwear.

Hosiery

If you want to wear a fancy garter belt with hooks to hold up thigh-high hose, make sure you choose one that fits snugly around your waist -- and won't be seen through your gown! The pressure of the hose can pull an inexpensive, elastic garter belt downward, leading to wrinkly knees and an evening of endless attemts to hitch up your hose (a task nearly as hard to hide as panty-t***ing).

A garter belt is a pretty superfluous item, given the variety of sleek and sexy pantyhose available. But some women feel extra sexy just knowing they're wearing one. If you go with a garter, you'll need to test it out to make sure you can bear the inconvenience.

If you think you'll kick off your heels as the affordable wedding dresses evening progresses, you might choose tights rather than sheer hose to avoid holes in your toes. You could also go with knee-highs that can be taken off along with your shoes. Whichever style you select, buy a few extra pairs -- when you accidentally shred one on wedding morning, you won't miss a beat.

Before your wedding, try on your gown -- with your bridal lingerie -- under the watchful eye of a close friend. Once you're sure you won't show more than you intend to show, forget about it and have fun!


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8/29/2011 - Accessories: Wedding Glove Glossary

What could be more sophisticated than finishing off your wedding gown with a long pair of white gloves, just like the ones worn by Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's? While kid leather styles are considered the dressiest, satin discount bridal shops spandex, crushed velvet, and sheer organza can also look ultra elegant. Don't know the difference between an opera style and an elbow? Read on...

Fingerless Glove:

The fingerless glove -- worn either short or long -- is great for the all-important exchange of rings.

Gauntlet Glove:

A long glove with a complete lack of hand covering, the gauntlet looks more like a sleeve that travels from elbow to wrist.


Short Glove:

Most appropriate for informal or semi-formal events, the short glove hemline ends within two inches of the wrist (about nine inches long). This style looks great beautiful wedding dresses with long-sleeved gowns, and is commonly referred to as a "one-button glove." Two- and four-button styles end between the wrist and the elbow.

Elbow Glove:

A glove that ends just above or below the elbow, this style can feature six, eight, or ten buttons, depending on the length of your arm.

Opera Glove:

The most formal of all gloves, the opera-length affordable wedding dresses style features 16 buttons, extends to the upper part of the bicep, and looks wonderful with sleeveless and strapless gowns.

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8/29/2011 - Accessories: The Bride's Shopping Checklist

If you've already purchased your wedding gown, right about now you've probably realized that there's more to your bridal ensemble than just a white dress. The truth is, details count: there are shoes to buy, a veil to choose, jewelry to discount bridal shops borrow. Where should you start? Consult our exclusive Bridal Attire Checklist. Then get out there and start shopping!

Accessories

  • Shawl or Wrap: Keeps you warm while adding a new look to your dress.
  • Shoes: Flat or strappy? Chunky affordable wedding dresses or stiletto? Just make sure they match.
  • Gloves: Not just for winter; they'll add a touch of elegance to any outfit.
  • Tiara/Headpiece: Don't forget spare pins and clips.

Jewelry



  • Engagement ring: Ready to be put on your finger for the ceremony.
  • Wedding bands: In a box or pillow to be given to the ring bearer/best man.
  • Necklace: After your dress and smile, the first thing people will notice.
  • Earrings: Keep them simple if your necklace is grand.
  • Bracelet(s): Always a nice touch.
  • Watch: Appropriate only if it's antique or has extreme sentimental value.

Lingerie



  • Bra/Bustier: There may be no need, but you may beautiful wedding dresses show more than you bargained for if gown material is thin.
  • Underwear: Thong or control top, and everything in between.
  • Garter: The most popular "something blue" accessory.
  • Hosiery: Bring an extra pair, just in case.
  • Slip: Extra important if your gown's made of tear-prone tulle.
  • Bodyshaper/bodyslimmer: For keeping you tucked in.



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8/29/2011 - Top 10 Wedding Accessory Tips

Overbuy Bras

Before you buy a bra, ask about the store's return policy. You'll likely want to try on a few different bras with your gown, so make sure the garment is discount bridal shops returnable for a full refund if you leave the tags on. Take home a handful of styles and try them on with your dress. Move around and dance to make sure the bra stays hidden.


Be Prepared for Fittings

Remember: Make sure you take your bra, slimmer, stockings, and shoes to your dress fittings; a body-support garment will give a slightly different shape than just sucking in your gut, and changing your "support" down the road will affect the way your dress fits.

Examine Your Undergarments

Try on your entire wedding ensemble to ensure you¡¯ve made a good match. Can you tell that those control tops are cutting your torso in half? Likewise your thighs in those stockings? Is the outline of your garter belt or your pantyhose waistband embarrassingly obvious? Is your gown fabric so sheer that your under-the-dress essentials may as well be over the dress? If any of the above applies, rethink your options and consider other alternatives.

The Right Tights

If you think you'll kick off your heels as the evening progresses, you might choose tights rather than sheer hose to avoid holes in your toes. You could also beautiful wedding dresses go with knee highs that you can slide off along with your shoes. Whichever style you select, buy a few extra pairs -- when you accidentally shred one on wedding morning, you won't miss a beat.

A Veil Do

Don't forget to check your look from behind. If showing off the back of your gown is important to you, you may want to opt for a very sheer veil of just one or two layers of tulle.

A Veil Don't

Though it may look cleaner than unfinished tulle, depending on its length, a ribbon around the edge of your veil could create a horizontal line across your middle, making you appear shorter.

Dare to Go Bare

If you plan to remove your veil after the ceremony, have it attached to your headpiece with fabric hook and loop closures for easy on-and-off. Keep in mind, though, that if you remove your veil before the reception, it won't appear in pictures of the cake cutting and the first dance. Many brides wait until after the first dance.

Fix Your Fabrics

Be mindful of the effect your slip or crinoline can have on your hose; depending on the material, the friction of the undergarment against your legs could end up shredding them, so do a test run.

Under Where?

To avoid the inevitable wedgie, which is pretty much impossible to fix in a wedding gown, wear pantyhose with a sewn-in cotton crotch or thong underwear. Again, if you¡¯ve never worn a thong, try it first -- this barely-there item is not for affordable wedding dresses everyone, and some women compare the experience to having a permanent wedgie.


Be Prepared

Keep two or even three extra pairs of hosiery on hand. Give them to your maid of honor to stash in your wedding day beauty kit, along with a bottle of clear nail polish in case of runs.


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8/29/2011 - Wedding Tuxedo Sizing Basics

No matter how nice your wedding tuxedo looks on that hanger, it won't mean a thing if it ain't got that...fit. You definitely don't want a high-water, too-tight, or too-loose suit that will make you look like a goofball on your wedding day. Make sure you discount bridal shops get the right size by following these guidelines.


The Basics

Here's what to look for when you're sizing up a tux:

  • Tuxedo Jacket
    Your formalwear jacket should fit comfortably at the neck and shoulders and fasten easily. Try standing and sitting with it buttoned.
  • Tuxedo Shirt
    About 1/4 inch to 1/2 inch of your shirt's cuff should show below the jacket sleeve. It should fit comfortably at the neck, shoulders, and waist.
  • Vest
    Vest buttons should line up with your jacket front, and the vest should button comfortably across your chest. The bottom should slightly overlap beautiful wedding dresses  the trouser waistband. The suit vest's waist can usually be adjusted with a slide strap in the back. Consider a vest with a full back. When jackets come off during the reception, guests will see the real deal instead of a strap and the back of your shirt.
  • Trousers
    These should button comfortably and feel good when you sit. The hem should break just over your shoe tops so that it covers the top 1/3.
  • Bow tie
    Always try on a bow tie before buying or renting one. It should fit snugly around your collar.
  • Shoes
    Remember that the best time to try on shoes is at the end of the day, when your feet are slightly swollen (which they'll almost certainly be by the end of the wedding). Better for shoes to be too roomy than too tight.

Comfort is Key



You should be able to move easily -- do lots of twists, turns, and arm raises when you audition tuxedos for your wedding. After all, you'll be wearing those duds for four to eight emotional, fun-filled hours.

Size it Up

It's a good idea for everyone to try on their formalwear affordable wedding dresses at leasttwo days before the wedding. Sounds like a no-brainer, right? You'd be surprised. Many mismatched bridal parties or ill-fitting suit jackets result from neglect of this simple step.

If the suit doesn't fit, you'll still have time to run back to the formalwear rental shop or the tailor to get the kinks worked out.

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8/26/2011 - Groomsmen: Their Duties in Detail

The groom's close friends and relatives, the groomsmen, support him throughout the wedding planning process. Take your role as groomsman seriously -- after all, you're helping one of your best friends through what can be a very discount bridal shops nerve-racking day. Plus, if you act like the levelheaded, responsible guy you are, you'll impress those single bridesmaids. Read on for a rundown of your duties.


As a groomsman, be prepared to serve as information central for those who aren't in the know.

  • Like the bridesmaids, you'll have to pay for your wedding gear. Luckily, you can usually rent a tux for quite a bit less than what the bridesmaid dresses will cost. Be sure to get fitted at the specified store with time to spare -- you don't want to walk down the aisle in floods!
  • Attending all prewedding festivities (engagement party, couple shower, bachelor party, rehearsal dinner). Perks: Free vittles and drinks.
  • Helping the best man plan the groom's bachelor party. Perks: Good food, drinks, and perhaps some insights into female anatomy.
  • You'll conspire with the best man -- and the bridesmaids -- to decorate the honeymoon getaway car in style.
  • Before the ceremony, you may be asked to usher beautiful wedding dresses guests to their seats. At traditional Christian ceremonies, guests of the bride's family sit on the left, and guests of the groom's family sit on the right. At Jewish ceremonies, it's the opposite. When a couple arrives, take the woman's arm and escort her to her seat; her escort will follow you. Always seat the oldest woman first if several guests arrive together. You should arrive at the ceremony site at least 45 minutes early to review special seating requirements.
  • Be prepared to serve as information central and direct guests to restroom facilities and the reception site.
  • Purchase a wedding present, perhaps with one of the other groomsmen. You'll have more buying power, and two heads are often better than one when it comes to gift ideas. Sometimes the entire groomsmen gang pitches in for one affordable wedding dresses knock-them-off-their-feet wedding gift.
  • At the reception, you may be introduced with the bridesmaid you escorted during the recessional. You may also be asked to dance with bridesmaids or single female guests during the evening. Wow, how easy is this?


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8/26/2011 - Groomsmen: Top 5 Trends

Bye-Bye Bow Tie

Today, being a stylish groomsman has a lot to do with what's worn underneath the jacket. We're seeing tuxedos with long (not bow) ties, and with vests instead of cummerbunds. "More and more grooms are ordering cravat [long] ties, non-pleated discount bridal shops shirts, and three-button jackets, which is a more modern option," says Brian Regenstreich, manager of Zeller Tuxedos in New York.

Make every groomsman's boutonniere different, but match them with the bouquet of the bridesmaid he escorts down the aisle.

Beyond the Tux



If you're having a casual affair, go ahead and ditch the tuxes. Instead, dress the guys in blazers, and match something in their outfits (a pocket square, a tie, a belt, their socks!) with the overall color scheme. For a great casual look, have your party wear khaki pants they already own, and ask them to all get the same navy blazer. Another way to coordinate? Order extra fabric from the bridesmaid dresses to make matching ties for the groomsmen -- this is a great way to tie the party together.

Don't Forget Gramps

Many grooms are paying respect to their elders by getting them matching tuxedos. "More and more grooms come in with their grandfathers," says Regenstreich. "If the grandfather is not officially in the party, at least he'll feel like he's part of the celebration with the tuxedo he wears." If you don't want him to look identical to the party, have the grandfathers beautiful wedding dresses wear the same style tux and shirts, but a slightly different shade of tie than the groomsmen. That way they'll still be noticed as special, but they'll be distinct from the party.

Wearable Gifts

If your groomsmen are white-collared business types, chances are they spend a lot of their workweek in a suit or blazer. Give them a unique, personalized gift that will add to their wedding day style and that they'll also be able to use again and again. Cufflinks with their initials are a great gift, or you can go for styles that suit the personality of the guy who'll wear them. For the banker, get dollar signs or 'buy' and 'sell' links; for the sports fan, a baseball and mitt. The men in your party will appreciate the thought, and they'll also be thankful that they don't have something identical to the other five groomsmen at your wedding.

Vary the Boutonnieres



It's nice to have the wedding party somewhat coordinated, but it's totally acceptable to have the best man's boutonniere be different than the other affordable wedding dresses members of the party. Another idea? Make every single groomsman's boutonniere different, but match them with the bouquet of the bridesmaid he escorts down the aisle. Decide what each pairing will be by using different colors of the same flower, or all different flowers in the same color. If the men in your party object to donning flowers of any sort, or if you want a more masculine look, consider boutonnieres of wheat, herbs, or leaves.


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8/26/2011 - Ring Bearers: Their Duties in Detail

Wondering what the scoop is on those cute little kids in the wedding party? Young boys can play two main roles: ring bearer and page. Pages help the bride with an extra-long train, while ring bearers bring the wedding rings (or fakes that look like the wedding rings) to the altar.


Duties

The ring bearer, traditionally a small boy discount bridal shops aged four to eight, walks down the aisle just before the flower girl (if there is one), carrying a pillow with two rings tied to it. Since it's not the greatest idea to entrust gold rings to a rambunctious 6-year-old, the rings are usually fakes.

Are you the trusting sort? Well, if you trust the little tyke with your jewelry, at least have someone hand him the pillow replete with real rings just before he begins trekking down the aisle. If he gets hold of them too far in advance, it's more likely he'll lose them.

Whatever you choose to have the ring bearer carry, be sure he's told about his duties ahead of time. It's probably best to include him in the rehearsal dinner, so the full implications of his duties (walking down an aisle all by himself with a hundred beautiful wedding dresses people watching) don't come as a big shock.


Who to Choose?

You'll probably want to choose a young family member. Perhaps your first or second cousins already have children. You can also choose a godchild or a family friend. If you don't know any young boys, don't sweat it: Having a ring bearer is a great way to include young family members in your wedding ceremony, but a ring bearer isn't a necessity. In most cases, the best man will be holding the real rings anyhow.


What They Wear

There's a variety of style affordable wedding dresses options for these little dudes. Check out our ring bearer's attire article for s***estions.


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8/26/2011 - Engagement Issues: Top 10 Prewedding Fights (and How to Avoid Them) - Getting Engaged - Just Engaged

Ah, engaged life. Fancy parties in your honor, a legitimate excuse to plunk down thousands for one dress. You never expected the downside: hissing at each other in bridal registry departments, screaming matches over the wedding guest list. The engagement period can be a minefield of hot topics that can trigger huge blowouts -- sometimes a seating plan is not just a seating plan.

"Planning the wedding is a trial run for your future discount bridal shops marriage. The things you battle about now are clues to where you're going to have trouble in the future," says Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of True Partners: A Workbook for Building a Lasting Intimate Relationship. Here's what lies behind the most common prewedding blowouts -- and how to resolve them.

Family

"His family's guest list is getting longer and longer every day, and they're not even chipping in for the wedding."


Tessina warns that this particular argument is "a prototype for future financial dealings." Her advice: Be businesslike. Say to your beloved groom, "This is what your family's guest list will cost, this is what my family's guest list will cost. What can we do to limit the cost? Will your family chip in?"

Dr. Patrick Gannon is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the co-creator (along with his wife, Dr. Michelle Gannon, also a licensed psychologist) of Marriage Prep 101, a course designed for engaged couples. He s***ests that there may be more here than meets the eye. "Always be on the lookout for conflicts like these to be about 'hidden issues.' Are either of you sensitive about issues of fairness or balance? Does one of you have a greater sense of obligation to your parents that the wedding be a certain way?"

Groom Involvement

"He doesn't even seem to care about the color of the table linens -- what is he, insane?"


Tessina warns that you could be expecting too much: "He's a man. Most men are clueless when it comes to design and decor." This doesn't mean that you should give up on including him, however. "Find out what he is interested in and encourage him to participate in that part," she says. Michelle Gannon concurs, and adds, "Make sure there are not any underlying issues; say that he feels he should defer to you because you are the bride so it's 'your day' or he feels that your parents or his parents are interfering with the wedding plans."

Money



You're spending big bucks on your dress; he wants to spend some of that cash to go to Bora Bora on the honeymoon.


This time, Tessina is not on the side of the bride. She asks, "What entitles you to spend big bucks on the wedding dress? This needs to be an equitable deal. At least the honeymoon is something you'll both enjoy. Sit down with him, like two adults, and work out the finances of the wedding together."

Religion

"Why isn't he making an effort to understand my traditions?"


Patrick Gannon advises first being sure that the groom understands what is expected of him -- the poor guy may not even know that you want him to learn beautiful wedding dresses about your traditions. Gannon s***ests that this topic may even bring the two of you closer and says, "If handled calmly and sensitively, a discussion like this can be an opportunity to get to know yourself and your partner better just by getting clear about what these traditions mean and say about each other."

Aesthetics

He wants dark green ink; you want pale green. He wants candles on the tables; you think they look silly. And so on.


"So," comments Michelle Gannon, "you wanted your fiance to be more interested in the wedding details. Now you have a more involved groom, and a new problem. Both of you need to share the power and decision-making regarding wedding plans." She has a plan to accomplish that: "Decide on priorities by having each person rate on a scale of one to ten the importance of each detail. Remember, it's good practice to learn early on how to prioritize, negotiate, and compromise. These skills will come in very handy later on."

Territory

"Why does he think we should be married in New Jersey just because we live here? We need to be in South Carolina with my family. His relatives can fly in from Ohio."


"Ask that question for real, not just rhetorically," s***ests Tessina. "Why does he want to get married at home? Maybe having friends at the party is more important to him than having family. That's a reasonable want. Perhaps you can scale things down and have a wedding at your family¡¯s home and a party in New Jersey."

Friends

"For his best man, he picked his jerk of a college roommate who's just intent on getting my fiance drunk at our wedding."


It's time to be both supportive and sensible. According to Tessina, "He and his former roommate may have a strong bond -- just make sure there are some more reasonable men around them to keep a lid on things. Arrange with your brother or affordable wedding dresses a male friend to befriend your fiance and help him resist the ploys of the best man." Patrick Gannon recommends sharing your anxiety with the groom, so you can handle the situation together. He says, "If the best man has a drinking problem, the groom might address his concerns directly to the best man before the wedding."

Bridezilla Behavior

He says, "Who is this detail-obsessed, wedding-magazine-reading woman and where is the girl who used to sit with me watching baseball and drinking beer?"


Drop the Martha act. Your guy may have a point. "He's right," says Tessina. "If the wedding has become more important than your relationship, that's a warning sign. Yes, you want a lovely wedding, but not at the expense of your relationship. After all, what's the point? Keep your future in mind."

Prenups



"Why is he so intent on planning our divorce when we aren't even married yet?"


This could be a blessing in disguise, according to our experts. "If you pay attention, the prenuptial agreement can be as big an asset for you as it is for him," says Tessina. "It's another way to discuss essential financial issues before you commit." Naturally, the prenup brings up more than just finances for many couples. "This is usually experienced as an emotional issue between the couple, often involving feelings of trust, commitment, and faith in each other and the future of the marriage," says Patrick Gannon. "Don't let this issue remain unresolved, because it can erode the love you have for each other."

The Past

He is good friends with an old girlfriend and wants her to attend the wedding. You wouldn't mind if she were dead.


Tessina minces no words on this topic. "Oh, grow up. You've already won this battle -- he chose you. Don't mess up things now by being petty and jealous. Those are not becoming traits. Befriend her, get to know her, and you may like her yourself. Invite her to help with a shower. If you're too insecure to do that, perhaps you should rethink getting married. You may not be ready." Michelle Gannon points out, "You two need to discuss how involved ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends are going to be in your life together."

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8/26/2011 - Who Pays for What in a Wedding

Forget the archaic rule that says certain people have to pay for certain things. The bride's parents need not take out a third mortgage to pay for the wedding, and the groom's parents are not off the hook either. Besides, the two of you might even be covering a good chunk of the expenses yourselves. The best way to work it out? Sit down discount bridal shops with pencil, paper, and calculator and figure out what you really want and can afford. Keep in mind that informal weddings are usually smaller (and therefore cheaper), and formal weddings tend to be larger (and therefore more expensive).

Here's a list of the traditional costs for everyone involved -- but remember, these "rules" are made to be broken!

Ceremony

  • Bride and family pay for church or synagogue, sexton, organist, etc.
  • Groom and family pay for marriage license and officiant's fee.

Clothes

  • Bride and family pay for bride's dress, veil, accessories, and trousseau (read: lingerie and honeymoon clothes).
  • Groom and family pay for groom's outfit.
  • All attendants pay for their own clothing (including shoes).

Flowers

  • Bride and family pay for arrangements for church (including huppah if a Jewish wedding ceremony) and reception, plus bouquets and corsages for bridesmaids and flower girls.
  • Groom and family pay for bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, boutonnieres for men, and corsages for beautiful wedding dresses  mothers and grandmothers.

Honeymoon



  • Groom and family pay for complete honeymoon.

Photography

  • Bride and family pay for all wedding photos and video.

Prewedding Parties

  • Bride or groom's family plans and hosts engagement party; if there is more than one, bride's family hosts the first one.
  • Groom's family plans and hosts the rehearsal dinner.
  • Bride plans and hosts bridesmaids' luncheon.
  • Groom hosts and plans bachelors' dinner.
  • Maid of honor and bridesmaids host shower.
  • Best man and ushers host bachelor party.
  • Friends may throw additional engagement parties or showers.

Reception

  • Bride and family pay for all professional services, including food, drink, decorations, and music.

Rings

  • Bride and/or her family pay for groom's ring.
  • Groom and/or his family pay for both of the bride's rings.

Stationery

  • Bride and family pay for invitations, announcements, and wedding programs.

Transportation



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