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For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
8:40 AM - 10/3/2005 - {0} -
O heart of darkness bleed
Reflect visions of stealth and greed
Simmer thought that is decreed
Amidst the elm and its seed
What is thy nature and it’s feed
Playing a lute or a reed
Spreading fast what is your speed
Turning evil into good deed
Breeding lust, Sin and greed
Who takes lead upon your heed?
Burning souls like tumble weed
You are nothing but darkness indeed.
6:42 AM - 9/3/2005 - {0} -
i'm still crying
though you can't see my tears
i'm still hiding
trying not to show my fears
i'm still lonely
and i know you don't care
but i can't live life
alone, in hopeless despair
you'll never see
or comprehend in the least
why it is or what it is
that makes me diseased
i'm like rotting gangrenous flesh
i wish i'd decay quicker
my intellect is fresh
but my mind is getting sicker
i'm not like you
or anyone for that matter
i'm living in solitude
and i can't get any sadder
i'm unconscious during daylight
then i wake up and cry
take a trip, go skiing
hit a rock and get high
12:57 AM - 8/29/2005 - {0} -
My son Justin was born with Cerebral Palsy. At first we were worried about how he would adjust to being different than those around him; but Justin's determination, warm smile, and zest for life have brought admiration and appreciation from everyone with whom he comes in contact. So many times in the middle of a rough day, I simply look at him and everything comes into perspective.
Justin's first love is baseball and for several years he has played with the Miracle League. When he is on the baseball field, he is a part of a team like all of his friends and is treated just like any other kid. Through this experience, he has developed a strong sense of self-esteem. He also has been able to discover his unique talents instead of focusing on his disabilities. He has realized that CP does not have to limit who he is and what he does. He loves to say, "So what if I have Cerebral Palsy? I can still do it!"
Justin is incredibly strong, but anyway I feel terrible sorry for him and sometimes I wish we both could die and forget all the pain ... I know that he'll never be a normal kid and I'm so scared about what's coming in the future....
6:36 PM - 8/28/2005 - {0} -
The unseen eyes, reflect blood of tears...
the blind are kept closed.
For the ones who truly love, there blood is shed everyday,
for your thought comes upon thee.
I look at thy hands and I see your life imprinted upon them...
your blood runs through me....
your eyes see me but yet, you fell to wonder.
In dark chapter of the book of Life on me, you seem to
show and then you throw it all away.
You've always carried me upon your shoulders...
you have always taken the tears of pain and replaced then with tears of love...
for I breathe your life within me, for you give life while I blindly see,
that I am captured upon your blood...
for you and all shall see how much I love thee,
for all of the blood shall be taken away from me, as I show thee,
this life upon me....
you shall never cry aging nor shall you ever wonder why,
for the end is soon and all my love and thy care shall bleed upon all life....
for the beautiful scar of you shall be imprinted so I shall see,
everyday the love I give, for the love you never knew.
I look upon your eyes while we see thy hands with the running blood
of thy life going down my arm...
I have fallen to my knees while the tears of pain, and love fall....
I begin to slowly stop breathing for my love for you is so deep it
over comes me inside, the life I hold with this hand begins to loose grip,
while my eyes begin not to see, you are drifting away from me,
as my blood holds you close in a deep pool...
for now I know that my love for you will have to be shown through blood,
which is now all surrounding as I loose all of your sight........
-Devan Haddock-
4:43 AM - 8/27/2005 - {0} -
i don't practice laws
i defy them
i've died
inside
my silent
cyanide
asylum
i'm mortified
i'm morbidified
(yes i'm aware that's not a real word)
ima completely different class
i'm tongue-tied and crucified
choking on shards of glass
i'm ur disappointment
i'm ur perpetual delusion
i'm bleeding inside u
i'm ur contusion
i've taken enough pills to kill a horse
i've fucked fags and whores
i've conversed with the voice in my head trip
i deserve the noise of a dead sleep
i'm nice & easy & cheap
HOMOcidal secrets, i can't keep
doing this to myself
i hafta get my fix
i gotsta help my health
or i'm liable to schiz
I WANNA KILL THE GREEDY RICH
and feed them to the poor
i wanna steal your every stitch
cause i'm a hungry like a whore
i swear i don't mean to
your blood's just thicker
i'm dying proof
that sluts just heal quicker
~Sophia~(Golden Girls)
i'd kill myself to heal u
i'd die just to see the real u
the "faith" is decaying
and even jeezuz krist is praying
i'm dismal
i'm dead
and i'm abysmal
but misled
2:51 AM - 8/22/2005 - {0} -
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